Comfort, Feelings, and Change

There are unseen waves in our lives and in every moment that we sense but never see.

Moments that hurt yet grow us, exciting moments yet unbelievable ones, moments we wish would never go away yet somehow do.

It’s in these moments that we turn outside of ourselves to see how we can get the feelings these particular experiences brought us, but end up chasing intangible things and usually, making a regretful decision in the end.

Protection Mode

The mind is a bit of a pleaser – it does everything in its power to please you. Sometimes making you feel like crap but in reality, it’s doing so because you’re telling it to.

“I should have said something to that jerk instead of just standing there and keeping quiet. I must have looked like an idiot…”

Which then gives the mind a signal of “hey, I have to come up with a bunch of things she could have said instead of standing there…”

Making you feel even worse.

Imagine the energy that’s being wasted in all of that.

The mind’s role is to protect you. It doesn’t recognize an uncomfortable experience from a physically dangerous one.

When the need or the desire to get those good feelings back come up, your mind can start playing a few tricks on you.

Tricks like:

• maybe you should keep your job instead of going to that interview where you would be moving into a more fulfilling role because, at least in this job, people know you here and you won’t go through a panic of not fitting in

or

• maybe you should have never moved because now you’re faced with a completely new surrounding and you’re now afraid of who your neighbours may be and the problems that may come up

or

• maybe you should forget about taking the stairs because every time you’ve done it, you get halfway through the month and give up. And you don’t want to feel like you’ve given up yet again…

Though these “tricks” may not sound like much to you as you read them, they are pretty common for keeping people stuck in circumstances they’re dying to get out of.

The unknown is a scary place and not many are willing to face it, even when they know it’s better for them.

Those good feelings they/you are after, don’t necessarily live in those particular moments or circumstances – though you can swear they do.

The Turning Point

When the need for comfort and those feelings become less than the need to grow, change is welcomed in.

It’s only here where I’ve seen things happen for others…and for me.

I’m one to want to hold on to the good feelings.

The feelings that allowed me to feel safe because I had the comfort of my complete family, those that kept me in a comfortable cocoon of sadness, those that maintained my insecurities and kept me in belittling relationships.

But then, that need to grow and expand became stronger. I stepped into something completely unknown and finally took steps from there.

I’m still taking them. But here’s something I’ve learned on this road:

Change happens inside you when you open up to the possibility.

No outside influences needed. Those feelings you’re after, become yours to keep.

Holding on to something outside of yourself, only takes that growth…that power, outside of you.

It becomes unpredictable.

Scary at times.